Haiti

Haiti.
Yep. 

I’ve had a lot of extra time to think lately. 
Eight days without an actual schedule or real commitments will do that to ya. Make you think. 
Last week President Trump (may or may have not) said some mean things about Haiti. Weird thing is, then I went there. I was there less than 24 hours. I was taken to specific places, and met specific people. I was a guest. I saw only what they wanted me to see. True.  
Did you know that maybe countries are like people? I have very ugly sides, created by insecurity. I have very scary places, created by fear. But, just like Haiti, there may be some beautiful thrown in there along the way.  Countries may be the same. But I wonder,  Maybe, if we take a little time to see, and value, and build, and appreciate, maybe  we can find the most beautiful thing we will ever be a part of, people and countries. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

"I"m Dead Sexy."

A friend of mine and I were joking about this line. I was challenged to include it in my Little Red Tin.
So, I will include it, and my thoughts about it.
I am 41.
I can honestly say, Sexy is not a word that I  would normally, or ever describe me. Growing up, my sister was the and I quote, "the Pretty One" and I was "the Cute One." All in good intentions, but I can't say I've ever even thought I was pretty. Cute maybe occasionally, but not pretty, and sure as heck, not "dead sexy."
"Dead Sexy" is a look, yes? no?
Maybe not.
 Maybe, It's an attitude, a belief, it's a feeling.
I am functional. I am independent. I figure things out.  I am a hard worker. So were the pioneers, and the were definitely Not, Dead Sexy.

Cards from the tin, catch up, 2017

-Moose! Everyday for one whole week! It was cuz I prayed to see Moose. So, Heavenly Father helped other people, help me see them!

--The trees in Yellowstone, once completely devastated, are growing, thriving. Sometimes in life we are completely devastated. But, Heavenly Father made a way for us to return and thrive.

-Live  toward eternal identity, when you look in the mirror, do you see the Savior in the space next to yours?

-Pray to know why this child came to me...

-I don't fit into any male country singers song.

- Hair. Such a battle. I would love long lady lovely locks. But it won't grow. Or it is actually no lady lovely locks, so I embrace funky.

-I'm not sure why Skye takes my picture a million times a day in her insta-messaging. I'm afraid it's because it's funny.

-"Naked baby"

Reoccurring dreams

I have several. I have been able to find closure on a few. And  occasionally after the closure is made, they reappear after years. Some, I've been able to decipher. Some still elude me.
- I am at school, high school, college, it doesn't matter, but I don't know my schedule. I don't know which class I'm suppose to be going to next. I don't know where it is.

- I work at Wendy's - or McDonalds, or somewhere that has shifts that I am suppose to check the schedule, and clock in and out of, and get paid in a paper check every two weeks. I forget to go. I forget to check the schedule, and forget to pick up my check.

-I am back in England as a missionary. This has altered slightly, because I am seriously concerned that I have children that I have left at home, and don't want to be gone too long.

Newer reoccurring dreams involve:
 - A huge home that is unfinished and we have decided to move in and finish one room at a time.

-Roads, driving, crossing rivers.

-Friends and in the dream, they are not allowed to talk to me, or I am not allowed to talk to them. Based in my college town, and my hometown. I see the houses, the roads around campus, but no words.

I am tormented by dreams. I hate dreams. I hate dreaming. I hate waking up exhausted. I hate the emotions created  IN   MY   BRAIN   WHILE   I SLEEP.

I feel that if I have to dream about real life people, they should be tormented by me in their dreams. It is not fair that it is a one sided battle.

And Now, Currently. Presently

I've been mulling over a few things lately and had actually contemplated starting a new blog, it would be called
Musings of a Mad Woman.
(British Definition of Mad, meaning crazy, or just not right in the head)
So last night I got on here, with the purpose of seeing if that name was available. But, instead, after trying at least a dozen times in the past 2 years, I found this one. I had lost it. 'It' meaning, the site, I couldn't find it. Or, maybe it was my brain that is the 'It.' Either way. My Little Red Tin is a pretty good capsule of the Musings of this Mad Woman.
I've decided to just go forward.
I know. No one blogs. But, for all purposes, this is the healthiest of options. It may help filter my mouth in public.
My format may be a little different going forward. I'm not sure. But,  I am excited about this venue for purging the Madness. Much love...

Deliberate Parenting

I am trying. I am not awesome. But I am trying.

-Counting in the car/ turning off the radio.

-nursery rhythms and adding facial expression-such a treat for anyone watching I'm sure. Glad it's only by 3 year old.

-Checking for ear wax.

-Walking slow.

-Remembering to make them do their homework. (I actually hate homework worse than they do)

-Holding hands.

-Having them do chores, and following up on their chores. I am so crappy at following up.

-Reading stories.

-Asking more questions than, "how was your day/"

-Kiss them goodnight. Everynight.

-Know what is going on with classes, friends, teachers.

Mom Thoughts and Surprises

Truly, there are a million surprises when becoming a mom, but here's a few.
- I would say the line "brush your teeth 16 billion gazillion times."

-That by trying to make things nice, you enable and spoil your kids.

-That there is a  spot, when you put your cheek next to your childs cheek, and kiss right in front of their ear, you can feel magic.

-That I would be the soul person in a family of 7 who would ever sweep the floor.

-That I have no desire to buy new things for myself, because invariably, it disappears into someone elses bathroom or closet. Hence, why mothers dress ugly.

-That i can pay $420 for softball fees. Buy $100 of shirts, Pay for team treats, dinner, and after game meals, but, when I have only change to offer after 1! game, not paper cash, I get the door slammed in my face. I just sat thru a FREEZING game in a dress because I just came from my friends moms funeral. Bad day.

-Just because I want something crazy bad for a child, doesn't mean they want it.

-and, just because i grew them in my belly, doesn't mean we will have the same priorities.

- and even after a really bad day, I will stay up all night figuring out how to fix the world for my child.

-That raising teenagers now, is harder than it was being one.

-That I would look at mean kids, and struggling kids, and competetors of my own kids, and still see them as someones child- learning to navigate the world as well.

and  one of my questions....

-How many spots have to be on a shirt before we are considered to be to the 'dirty family.'