This night.

I am tired.
Like, crawl up in a fetal position, and pull the blanket so high around my shoulders and bury my face so far in my pillow, that hopefully no one will ever find me, tired. I possibly am resembling funeral exhaustion. But, it is different. I actually can't crawl up in the fetal position and give up, or give in.
I want to.
I am only on day three, and I am failing.
I understand how mothers quit. They are tired. They are tired of the fight. They are tired of the fake. They are tired.
I actually don't know how to ask for help.
"hi, help me while I check out. Direct all questions, calls, concerns and criticism to somewhere else, forever."