Hiccup

Because I can't really find the right title for this post, I named it Hiccup, because it was an involuntary  chaos created in my brain that has just kept repeating.
It was Skye's birthday yesterday. We were so busy. No time for self indulgent awareness. I was at the grocery store, and the clerk was talking to Canyon, he was entertaining back. She then turned to me and said, "Is he your grandson?'
Hiccup.
"No. I guess I just started late."
Hiccup.
How in the whole amount of cosmic universe did this one clerk hit me with the line that plagues my insecurities?
I know that I am aging. I am telling Heavenly Father that every day, and the things He is asking me to do are indeed so hard because of this exact Hiccup.
Tell me lady. Is it the wrinkles by my eyes? or on my forehead, because, yes, I have them. In excess.
Is it the sun spots? I know. I even have them on my neck.
And actually, speaking of my neck, I have a little bit of saggy skin there. I am trying a variety of things, for the saggy, the sun spots, and the wrinkles. But yes, they are still there.
Hiccup.
we live in a really weird world.
Tell me lady. Because although it will be a really beautiful thing to be a grandmother-  right now, I am a mother, only. And a very insecure one that really doesn't know how to pull off the things that Heavenly Father is asking. Tell me, what is it in my appearance that has you question my age. I really will work on it.
Hiccup.